Forgiveness of wives whose husband had an affair
Authors
-
Yulius Steven
Faculty of Psychology, Universitas Atma Jaya, Indonesia
-
Evi Sukmaningrum
Faculty of Psychology, Universitas Atma Jaya, Indonesia
https://doi.org/10.24854/jpu68
Keywords:
forgiveness, wives, infidelity, young adultAbstract
This study examined forgiveness process and its associated affecting factors among young adult wives as they overcome their spouse’s infidelity. The present study used qualitative study with in-depth interviews to explore those variables and also employed two questionnaires – NEO PI-R and TRIM-18 – to measure the personality factor and the forgiveness motivation. To recruit participants, convenience sampling technique was employed. This study showed that all three participants have not yet reached the final stage of forgiveness. Rumination was found in all participants as the barrier aspect that affects the process. Other factors that promote forgiveness process were reasons of forgiving, sincere apology from husband, relationship quality, and high motivation of benevolence. Furthermore, cultural and religious factors play a major role in forgiving process.
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References
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Supit, B. I. M. (2015). Pembatalan nikah menurut hukum kanonik dalam hubungannya dengan sistem perundang-undangan di Indonesia. Lex Privatum, 3(1), 5-19.
Toussaint, L., & Webb, J. R. (2005). Gender differences in the relationship between empathy and forgiveness. Journal of Social Psychology, 145(6), 673-685.
Toussaint, L., Worthington, E. L., & Williams, D. (2015). Forgiveness and health: Scientific evidence and theories relating forgiveness to better health. New York, NY: Springer.
Trull, T. J., & Prinstein, M. J. (2012). Clinical psychology (8th ed.). New York, NY: Wadsworth. Urooj, A., Haque, A., & Anjum, G. (2015). Perception of emotional and sexual infidelity among
married men and women. Pakistan Journal of Psychological Research, 30(2), 423-442. Utomo, I. D., McDonald, P., Hull, T., Rosyidah, I., Hattimah, T., Idrus, N. I., Sadli, S., & Makruf, J. (2008). Gender depiction in Indonesian school text book: Progress or deterioriation, 26th IUSSP International Population Conference, Marrakech, 27 September – 2 Oktober, 2008.
Morocco: IUSSP.
Vergouwen, J. C. (2004). Masyarakat dan hukum adat Batak Toba. Bantul: LKiS Yogyakarta. Williams, K., & Knudson-Martin, C. (2013). Do therapist address gender and power in infidelity: A
feminist analysis of the treatment literature. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 39(3),
271-284.
Yanggo, H. T., Yafie, A., Yaqub, A. M., & Djubaidah, N. (2004). Membendung Liberalisme. Jakarta:
Republika.
Alam, A., Rafique, R., & Anjum, A. (2015). Narcissistic tendencies, forgiveness and empathy as predictors of social connectedness in students from Universities of Lahore. The Dialogue, 11(2), 136-156.
Badan Pusat Statistik. (2015). Nikah, talak dan cerai, serta rujuk, 2012-2015. Ditemu kembali dari https://www.bps.go.id/linkTableDinamis/view/id/893
Batson, M. D., & Shwalb, D. W. (2006). Forgiveness and religious faith in Roman Catholic married couple. Pastoral Psychology, 50(1), 12-22. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11089-006-0046-x
Braithwaite, S. R., Selby, E. A., & Fincham, F. D. (2011). Forgiveness and relationship satisfaction: mediating mechanism. Journal of Family Psychology, 25(4), 551-559.
Denmark, F., Rabinowitz, V. C., & Sechzer, J. A. (2016). Engendering psychology: Women and gender revisited. New York, NY: Psychology Press.
Enright, R. D., & Fitzgibbons, R. P. (2015). Forgiveness therapy: An empirical guide of resolving anger and restoring hope. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.
Hall. J. H., & Fincham, F. D. (2006). Relationship dissolution following infidelity. Dalam M. A. Fine & J. H. Harvey, Handbook of divorce and relationship dissolution (pp. 153-168). New York, NY: Routledge.
Finkel, E. J., Rusbult, C. E., Kumashiro, M., & Hannon, P. A. (2002). Dealing with a betrayal in close relationship: does commitment promotes forvieness?. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 82(6), 959-974.
Fortune, M. M., & Marshall, J. (2009). Forgiveness and abuse: Jewish and Christian reflection. New York, NY: Routledge.
Gray, P. B., & Anderson, K. G. (2010). Fatherhood: Evolution and human paternal behavior. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Halim, M. S., Derksen, J. J. L., & van Der-Staak, C. P. F. (2004). Development of the revised NEO personality inventory for Indonesia: A preliminary study. Dalam B. N. Setiadi, A. Supratiknya, W. J. Lonner, & Y. H. Poortinga (Eds.), Ongoing themes in psychology and culture (Online ed.). Melbourne, FL. International Association for Cross-Cultural Psycology. Ditemu kembali dari www.iaccp.org
Hertlein, K. M., Wetchler, J. L, & Piercy, F. P. (2013). Infidelity: an overview. Dalam K. M. Hertlein, F. P. Piercy, & J. L. Wetchler, Handbook of the clinical treatment of infidelity (pp. 5-16). New York, NY: Routledge.
Jayanti, T. N. (2013). Uji korelasi intensi berselingkuh dengan big five personality. Calyptra: Jurnal Ilmiah Mahasiswa Universitas Surabaya, 2(2), 1-9.
Koutokidis, G., Stainton, K., & Hughson, J. (2013). Tabbner's nursing care: Theory and practice (7th ed.). New South Wales: Elsevier.
McCullough, M. E., Pargament, K. I., & Thoresen, C. E. (2000). Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice. New York, NY: Guilford Press.
McCullough, M. E., Rachal, K. C., Sandage, S. J., Worthington, E. L., Brown, S. W., & Hight, T. L. (1998). Interpersonal forgiving in close relationship: Theoretical elaboration and measurement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(6), 1586-1603.
McNulty, J. K. (2011). The dark side of forgiveness: The tendency to forgive predicts continued psychological and physical aggression in marriage. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(6), 770-783.
Muntafi, M. S., & Nuqul, F. L. (2014) Forgivingness: Between personality and education, The 5th International Asian Association of Indigenous and Cultural Psychology Conference, Solo, Indonesia, 10-11 Januari 2014. Solo: Universitas Sebelas Maret Surakarta.
Muslim World. (2011). Islamic beliefs, practices, and cultures. New York, NY: Marshall Cavendish. Nurrachman, N., Shanti, T. I., Pandia, W. S., Suci, E. S., Hidajat, L. L., Sukmaningrum, E., Partasari, W. D., Warmiyati, M. M. T., & Wibawa, D. S. (2011). Psikologi perempuan:
Pendekatan kontekstual Indonesia. Jakarta: Universitas Atma Jaya Jakarta.
Papalia, D. E., & Martorell, G. A. (2014). Experience human development (13th ed.). New York,
NY: McGraw-Hill.
Rokach, A., & Philibert-Lingnieres, G. (2015). Intimacy, loneliness, and infidelity. The Open
Psychology Journal, 8(2), 71-77.
Sari, K. (2012). Pemaafan pada istri sebagai upaya untuk mengembalikan keutuhan rumah tangga
akibat perselingkuhan suami. Jurnal Psikologi UNDIP, 11(1), 50-58.
Selingkuh Penyebab 10 Ribu Kasus Perceraian, Poligami Hanya 937 Kasus. (2010, Februari). detik News. Ditemu kembali dari http://news.detik.com/berita/1304065/selingkuh-penyebab-10- ribu-kasus-perceraian-poligami-hanya-937-kasus pada 7 Desember 2016.
Shackelford, T. K., Voracek, M., Schmitt, D. P., Buss, D. M., Weekes-Shackelford, V. A., & Michalski, R. L. (2004). Romantic jealousy in early adulthood and in later life. Human Nature, 15(3), 283-300.
Suciptawati, N. P., & Susilawati, M. (2005). Faktor-faktor penyebab perselingkuhan serta tindak lanjut mengatasinya. Jurnal Studi Jender SRIKANDI. Ditemu kembali dari https://ojs.unud.ac.id/ index.php/srikandi/article/view/2831.
Supit, B. I. M. (2015). Pembatalan nikah menurut hukum kanonik dalam hubungannya dengan sistem perundang-undangan di Indonesia. Lex Privatum, 3(1), 5-19.
Toussaint, L., & Webb, J. R. (2005). Gender differences in the relationship between empathy and forgiveness. Journal of Social Psychology, 145(6), 673-685.
Toussaint, L., Worthington, E. L., & Williams, D. (2015). Forgiveness and health: Scientific evidence and theories relating forgiveness to better health. New York, NY: Springer.
Trull, T. J., & Prinstein, M. J. (2012). Clinical psychology (8th ed.). New York, NY: Wadsworth. Urooj, A., Haque, A., & Anjum, G. (2015). Perception of emotional and sexual infidelity among
married men and women. Pakistan Journal of Psychological Research, 30(2), 423-442. Utomo, I. D., McDonald, P., Hull, T., Rosyidah, I., Hattimah, T., Idrus, N. I., Sadli, S., & Makruf, J. (2008). Gender depiction in Indonesian school text book: Progress or deterioriation, 26th IUSSP International Population Conference, Marrakech, 27 September – 2 Oktober, 2008.
Morocco: IUSSP.
Vergouwen, J. C. (2004). Masyarakat dan hukum adat Batak Toba. Bantul: LKiS Yogyakarta. Williams, K., & Knudson-Martin, C. (2013). Do therapist address gender and power in infidelity: A
feminist analysis of the treatment literature. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 39(3),
271-284.
Yanggo, H. T., Yafie, A., Yaqub, A. M., & Djubaidah, N. (2004). Membendung Liberalisme. Jakarta:
Republika.
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Published
2018-06-01
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Steven, Y., & Sukmaningrum, E. (2018). Forgiveness of wives whose husband had an affair. Jurnal Psikologi Ulayat, 5(1), 1–27. https://doi.org/10.24854/jpu68
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