Description about forgiveness process among Catholic wives who are injured partners
Keywords:
Catholic marriage, forgiveness, infidelity, injured partnerAbstract
Infidelity is one of the main reasons for divorce among married couples. Despite the traumatic experience it causes, however, some religious teachings, like those of the Catholic faith, encourage believers to remain in their marriage despite being the victim of infidelity. This study aims to explore the process of forgiveness of married women whose partner has a history of engaging in an extramarital affair. An in-depth interview was conducted to two Catholic women who had experienced infidelity and remained in their marriage. The result described how participants underwent the process of forgiving, but still experienced painful feelings. Reframing partner’s infidelity through religious perspective helped participants to cope with the painful emotions. The results also provide an overview of the dynamic of the forgiveness process related to recovery so that individuals can realize their own potential and direct them leaning towards growing mindset after going through the experience of infidelity.
Downloads
References
Agu, S. A. & Nwankwo, B. E. (2019). Influence of religious commitment, intentionality in marriage and forgiveness on marital satisfaction among married couples. IFE PsychologIA: An International Journal, 27(2), 121-133. https://hdl.handle.net/10520/EJC-19190fbde4
Anderson, J. & Natrajan-Tyagi, R. (2016). Understanding the process of forgiveness after relational hurt in Christian marriages. Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 15(4), 295–320. https://doi.org/10.1080/15332691.2015.1089804
Anney, B. (2014). Ensuring the quality of the finds of qualitative research: Looking at the trustworthiness criteria. Journal of Emerging Trend in Educational Research and the Policy Studies, 5, 272–281.
Babbie, E. (2011). The basics of social research (5th ed). Wadsworth Cengage Learning.
Budi, S. S. (2019). Problematika perkawinan katolik: Kumpulan kasus perkawinan – Tinjauan hukum perkawinan. Kanisius.
Catholic Church. (1997). Catechism of the catholic church (2nd ed.). Libreria Editrice Vaticana; United States Catholic Conference.
Christie, A. (2013). Langkah tepat ketika menghadapi kasus perkawinan. Charissa Publisher.
Couch, L. L., Baughman, K. R., & Derow, M. R. (2017). The aftermath of romantic betrayal: What’s love got to do with it? Current Psychology: A Journal for Diverse Perspectives on Diverse Psychological Issues, 36(3), 504–515. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12144-016-9438-y
Creswell, J. W. (2012). Educational research: Planning, conducting, and evaluating quantitative and qualitative research (4th ed.). Pearson Education.
Dean, C. J. (2011). Psychoeducation: A first step to understanding infidelity-related systemic trauma and grieving. The Family Journal: Counseling and Therapy for Couples and Families, 19(1), 15–21. https://doi.org/10.1177%2F1066480710387487
Exline, J. J., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). Expressing forgiveness and repentance: Benefits and barriers. Dalam M. E. McCullough, K. I. Pargament, & C. E. Thoresen (Eds.), Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice (hlm. 133–155). The Guilford Press.
Fincham, F. D. (2017). Translational family science and forgiveness: A healthy symbiotic relationship? Family Relations: Interdisciplinary Journal of Applied Family Studies, 66(4), 584–600. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12277
Fincham, F. D., May, R., & Beach, S. R. H. (2020). Forgiveness interventions for optimal close relationships: Problems and prospects. Dalam C. Knee & H.T. Reis (Eds.), Positive approaches to optimal relationship development (hlm. 304–325). Cambridge University Press. https://doi.org/10.1017/cbo9781316212653.015
Fisher, S. (2018, Juni 26). How the church can help (or hurt) women in abusive marriages. America The Jesuit Review. https://www.americamagazine.org/faith/2018/06/26/how-church-can-help-or-hurt-women-abusive-marriages
Gordon, K. C. & Baucom, D. H. (1998). Understanding betrayals in marriage: A synthesized model of forgiveness. Family Process, 37(4), 425–449. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1545-5300.1998.00425.x
Gordon, K. C. & Baucom, D. H. (2003). Forgiveness and marriage: Preliminary support for a measure based on a model of recovery from a marital betrayal. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 31(3), 179–199. https://doi.org/10.1080/01926180301115
Gordon, K. C., Baucom, D. H., & Snyder, D. K. (2005). Forgiveness in couples: Divorce, infidelity, and couples therapy. DalamE. L. Worthington, Jr. (Ed.), Handbook of forgiveness (hlm. 407–421). Taylor & Francis Group.
Gordon, K. C., & Mitchell, E. A. (2020). Infidelity in the time of COVID‐19. Family Process, 59(3), 956–966. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12576
Hapsari, M. G. A. K. (2019). Gambaran proses forgiveness pada pasangan yang pernah diselingkuhi dan tidak bercerai [Skripsi Sarjana, UNIKA Atma Jaya]. Perpustakaan UNIKA Atma Jaya. https://lib.atmajaya.ac.id/default.aspx?tabID=61&src=k&id=235118
Hardiwiratno, J. (2016). Gonjang-ganjing keluarga katolik. Penerbit Obor.
Kosat, M. F. (2021, Agustus 28). Tribunal dan proses anulasi/annulment. Keuskupan Atambua. https://keuskupanatambua.org/tribunal-dan-proses-anulasi-annulment/
McCullough, M. E., Pargament, K. I., & Thoresen, C. E. (2000). Forgiveness: Theory, research, and practice. The Guilford Press.
Mitchell, E. A., Wittenborn, A. K., Timm, T. M., & Blow, A. J. (2021). Affair recovery: Exploring similarities and differences of injured and involved partners. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 48(2), 447–463. https://doi.org/10.1111/jmft.12538
Moi, A.A. D. (2008). Dari empati sampai kemurahan hati: Kunci menemukan kebahagiaan hidup. Penerbit DIOMA.
Novianty, D. & Nodia, F. (2017, Desember 2). Survei: Indonesia negara kedua di Asia paling banyak selingkuh. Suara.com. https://www.suara.com/lifestyle/2017/12/02/142256/survei-indonesia-negara-kedua-di-asia-paling-banyak-selingkuh
Poerwandari, E. K. (2013). Pendekatan kualitatif untuk penelitian perilaku manusia. Lembaga Pengembangan Sarana Pengukuran dan Pendidikan Psikologi (LPSP3).
Pour, M. T., Ismail, A., Jaafar, W. M. W., & Yusop, Y. M. (2019). Infidelity in marital relationships. Psychology & Psychological Research International Journal, 4(2), 1–14. https://doi.org/10.23880/pprij-16000200
Sauerheber, J. D. & Disque, J. G. (2016). A trauma-based physiological approach: Helping betrayed partners heal from marital infidelity. The Journal of Individual Psychology, 72(3), 214–234. https://doi.org/10.1353/jip.2016.0018
Sauerheber, J. D. & Ponton, R. F. (2017). Healing from infidelity: The role of covenantal forgiveness. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 36(1), 51–62. https://link.gale.com/apps/doc/A501832113/AONE?u=googlescholar&sid=bookmark-AONE&xid=0107f1f4
Setia, U. K. (2017, Desember 7). Di Indonesia, wanita lebih sering berselingkuh daripada pria? Liputan6. https://m.liputan6.com/lifestyle/read/3185170/di-indonesia-wanita-lebih-sering-berselingkuh-daripada-pria
Shackelford, T. K., LeBlanc, G. J., & Drass, E. (2000). Emotional reactions to infidelity. Cognition and Emotion, 14(5), 643–659. https://doi.org/10.1080/02699930050117657
Shrout, M. R. & Weigel, D. J. (2018). Infidelity’s aftermath: Appraisals, mental health, and health-compromising behaviors following a partner’s infidelity. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 35(8), 1067–1091. https://doi.org/10.1177%2F0265407517704091
Snyder, D. K., Baucom, D. H., & Gordon, K. C. (2008). An integrative approach to treating infidelity. The Family Journal, 16(4), 300–307. https://doi.org/10.1177/1066480708323200
Stosny, S. (2013). Living & loving after betrayal: How to heal from emotional abuse, deceit, infidelity, and chronic resentment. Raincoast Books.
Tedeschi, R. G. & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry: An International Journal for The Advancement of Psychological Theory, 15(1), 1–18. http://dx.doi.org/10.1207/s15327965pli1501_01
Triastuti, C. (2018). Apakah perceraian, dan bagaimana sikap gereja Katolik terhadap perceraian? Katolisitas.org: Mengenal dan Mengasihi Iman Katolik. https://www.katolisitas.org/unit/apakah-perceraian-dan-bagaimana-sikap-gereja-katolik-terhadap-perceraian/#_ftnref1
Tucker, J. R., Bitman, R. L., Wade, N. G., & Cornish, M. A. (2015). Defining forgiveness: Historical roots, contemporary research, and key considerations for health outcomes. Dalam L. Toussaint., E. Worthington., & D. Williams. (Eds), Forgiveness and health (hlm. 13–28). Springer. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9993-5_2
Walton, E. (2005). Therapeutic forgiveness: Developing a model for empowering victims of sexual abuse. Clinical Social Work Journal, 33(2), 193–207. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-005-3532-1
Warach, B. & Josephs, L. (2019). The aftershocks of infidelity: A review of infidelity-based attachment trauma. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 36(1), 68–90. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2019.1577961
Yin, R. K. (2011). Qualitative research from start to finish. The Guilford Press.
Downloads
Published
How to Cite
Issue
Section
Citation Check
License
Copyright (c) 2023 Prita Pradipta, Theresia Indira Shanti
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.
The authors agree to the following terms:
- Authors retain copyright and grant the journal the right of first publication with the work simultaneously licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License that allows others to share the work with an acknowledgement of the work's authorship and initial publication in this journal.
- Authors are permitted and encouraged to post their work online (e.g., in institutional repositories or on their website) for the exposure of their work with an acknowledgement of Jurnal Psikologi Ulayat: Indonesian Journal of Indigenous Psychology (JPU) as an outlet of their published work.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License.